Monday, January 04, 2010

New Life, New House, New State

My life has changed in the past two years, so fast that I was unable to keep up. Things that survived...My Family, thank goodness, My sanity...just barely, My friends...I'm surprised they can still stand me. Aren't those the only things that really matter in this life?

I'm standing on the other side of menopause. The great grey wall finally fell and I truly almost lost my mind during the journey. As I stand here on the other side, I look back and wonder why we as women have to suffer so. Why didn't I just go and get hormones, a red dress or more chocolate. No dumb head that I am I toughed it out and made myself go through it alone. Much to my non-benefit.

I've come out on the other side with Fibromyalgia, an open third eye and 30 pounds major good thing!

Well, I'm finally back to sewing. Took me forever to be able to put needle to fabric, too much of a painful reminder of my mother who passed and took my fragile heart with her. It is finally to a point where I don't feel my emotions hemorrhaging with each thought of her. I don't want my daughters or my son to grieve for me like I grieved for my mother. My sister still goes out with a lawnchair every weekend and sits at Mom's graveside and talks to her or plays cards with Dad...even they are both laid to rest beneath her feet. I wanted to lie down on her grave and never get up, but life does go on. Sometimes it feels grindingly slow, but it is actually just a second and I look and my daughters who were babies are babies no more, so on I go with life, love and happiness.

This is the last time I will pour my negative, but healed emotions onto the page for public view. I hope to once again fill the pages with life, love and positivity...and of course my sewing, crocheting and creative expressions.

Love, light and happiness,


Bella Modiste said...

Glad to have you back Aunt George!

Anonymous said...

So happy to seeing you posting again.

Final thoughts...

Thank you for visiting today. Feel free to sit for a spell and wander through my archives of sewing projects, aprons, original poems and stories, musings and vintage treasures. I really love guests in my home....and if you wish, leave me a comment so I will know you were here! AG